aka – how things happen at the strangest times.
I was in the middle of writing a post earlier about how, due to the reluctance of my GM to actually take action against the offensive stuff in guild lately, I had cancelled my TOR subscription. Because that’s what I did this morning when his response to my concern via text was basically nothing at all.
In the midst of said writing this afternoon, I receive a new text — he wants to know if I am done with TOR, or just done with this guy. Cause he was going to kick him from guild and wanted to make sure I’d still be around for re-building. Um, yes? I love the game. I love raiding with the other folks there. I don’t WANT to quit!
Now, not to say this outcome was without its consequences. Someone that I had thought was a friend reacted so venomously to the removal of this guy from guild that I ended up having to ban his IP from our forums as well as the former guild-mate, so that I didn’t have to babysit the forum while he had a cooling off period. Yes, seeing someone’s true colours is always a good thing — but it was still painful for me.
And, of course, as someone who always likes to “keep the peace” (and that’s actually one of my functions as an officer – the person folks can talk to about issues), I have that niggling mis-placed guilt that *I* somehow caused trouble, as ridiculous as that is. It’s not easy to stand up for yourself, especially when it’s standing up against sexist comments in a highly male-dominated situation like MMO’s. Even though it’s right, that doesn’t make it FEEL any better.
But I’ll get over it. The guy actually tracked me down in WoW to chat with me, since I’d ignored him in TOR. I had removed him from realID, but hadn’t thought to put his actual toon on ignore. He did apologize, and I do give him credit for that. But I still just said that I hoped it gave him reason to THINK about what he says sometimes, because it actually hurt and upset me. I tried to point out the distinction between friendly banter and actual offensive comments, but I’m not sure if I hit home on that.
At any rate… It was great to actually have BOTH of my GMs (TOR and WoW) step up and take appropriate action. My WoW GM reacted as soon as I told him about the issue and removed the guy from guild. They have a zero tolerance policy for that sort of thing (or racism, or any sort of hate-speech), and it’s one of the reasons that it is a safe-haven for me. Do we still have the banter there? Absolutely! But it doesn’t cross lines, and every single member understands that. Which is impressive in a guild as large as Tranquility is.
All in all, I love the folks that I game with. They make the world a better place.