It hasn’t even been quite two weeks since mah Wolfe left for Basic. And it feels like an eternity.

It really doesn’t seem like it was only a short time ago that I was up early before work – and I get up at 5AM anyway, so that’s *damn* early – to be able to talk to him the morning before he left.

And yet, it hasn’t even been two weeks. I still have over seven more weeks to go, and that’s counting on the short side of things (it may be longer depending on processing times and whatnot).

I look at the weekly countdown on my calendar and just feel kinda empty inside. I miss him. I miss hearing his voice. I miss knowing he’s always there to talk to – whether it’s about a stupid thing that occurred at work, something exciting that happened… or even if it’s just to say “Hi, I love you”. Or to hear his voice saying those words. It’s the little things in your day that you really miss when they just aren’t there anymore.

It’s a good thing that I decided to start writing in a notebook instead of the letter. I’ve already taken up a good ten pages in the “I can’t send you a novel to Basic” notebook that I started writing in. Just describing the dream that I had the other night took up over a page on its own. That was terrible. I’ve had nightmares that shook me up even after I had pulled myself out of it, but this was worse in all honesty. The dream had me WITH him. I was so happy in that dream that when I woke up, it was a reality check  so heartbreaking that I wept. I wished that I could go back to sleep, back in to that dream, and just stay there until he was out of Basic.

I am a strong, capable woman. I know this. I have lived my life without him and know entirely well that I can continue regardless. I will keep doing my day to day things even though I can’t talk to him. But that doesn’t make it any easier. HE makes my life easier. Knowing that he is there has become a level of comfort for me, and I miss it. He’s become that point in my day that I look forward to, and without it things don’t feel quite the same.

I AM strong enough to get through this, and I will not falter. I like to consider this my testing ground. He is proving himself as a soldier, and I am proving myself as a constant supporter of him in his chosen future. I will always be proud, encouraging, and full of love for him – because he holds my heart wherever he goes.

I just sure wish that I could make time move faster.