How Slowly Time Passes

It hasn’t even been quite two weeks since mah Wolfe left for Basic. And it feels like an eternity.

It really doesn’t seem like it was only a short time ago that I was up early before work – and I get up at 5AM anyway, so that’s *damn* early – to be able to talk to him the morning before he left.

And yet, it hasn’t even been two weeks. I still have over seven more weeks to go, and that’s counting on the short side of things (it may be longer depending on processing times and whatnot).

I look at the weekly countdown on my calendar and just feel kinda empty inside. I miss him. I miss hearing his voice. I miss knowing he’s always there to talk to – whether it’s about a stupid thing that occurred at work, something exciting that happened… or even if it’s just to say “Hi, I love you”. Or to hear his voice saying those words. It’s the little things in your day that you really miss when they just aren’t there anymore.

It’s a good thing that I decided to start writing in a notebook instead of the letter. I’ve already taken up a good ten pages in the “I can’t send you a novel to Basic” notebook that I started writing in. Just describing the dream that I had the other night took up over a page on its own. That was terrible. I’ve had nightmares that shook me up even after I had pulled myself out of it, but this was worse in all honesty. The dream had me WITH him. I was so happy in that dream that when I woke up, it was a reality checkย  so heartbreaking that I wept. I wished that I could go back to sleep, back in to that dream, and just stay there until he was out of Basic.

I am a strong, capable woman. I know this. I have lived my life without him and know entirely well that I can continue regardless. I will keep doing my day to day things even though I can’t talk to him. But that doesn’t make it any easier. HE makes my life easier. Knowing that he is there has become a level of comfort for me, and I miss it. He’s become that point in my day that I look forward to, and without it things don’t feel quite the same.

I AM strong enough to get through this, and I will not falter. I like to consider this my testing ground. He is proving himself as a soldier, and I am proving myself as a constant supporter of him in his chosen future. I will always be proud, encouraging, and full of love for him – because he holds my heart wherever he goes.

I just sure wish that I could make time move faster.

Kicking Friday into Gear

Friday. It’s the day of the week for me when even if I haven’t felt much like gaming, as I haven’t for the last two days, everything kicks off again.

It’s raid night tonight, so that means stopping to grab drinks and easy during-raid-snacks on my way home from work this afternoon.

Not only do I enjoy the time spent with my guildies during the raid, regardless of how frustrating a certain boss might be, but it really gets me back in to the gaming groove. I might stick around in WoW and play a different toon, or I’ll swap to a different game (TOR now that I’m playing that again).

Who knows, the weekend just might give me back that gaming feeling in itself, but it really does seem like spending time with those kick butt people is what does it. I think I tend to get a little lost in myself at times, and I start to retreat. But knowing that my guild is counting on me to show up for raid meansย  I don’t have that option – and making myself be there is actually good for me.

They make me laugh. They remind me that socializing (even though it may only be on vent) is a good thing. That I don’t have to hide myself in a book and avoid interaction. That there’s somewhere I can go and feel comfortable.

And I love it. So here’s to you, Friday. Here’s to raid nights and gaming time and awesome people.


Sightseeing in WoW

I was looking through the pics on my computer today, and realized just how much “sightseeing” I do as I’m running around questing or whatnot. I don’t go out actively looking for things, but I wind up with a lot of “ooooh shiny!” moments where I just have to stop and take a screenshot.

Figured I would share some of those with you guys today, as I let my thoughts regroup from other things.

I love this from Uldum:


And this somewhat gloomy shot of Dalaran, with the ominous sky of Icecrown:


The bright colours at Therazane’s Throne:


The sun over Stormwind Harbour:


I’ll leave you with a shot of Tempest Keep and the sky over Netherstorm:


I have so many more screenshots that I could share, we would be here all day if I tried to show all of my favourite ones. Views in Uldum alone (quite possibly one of my favourite looking zones) could be its own post.

Do you find yourself really taking in the sights while you’re out questing? Do you ever just have to stop and get screenshots? Or do you find that it sort of fades in to the background?

The Perpetual Caster

Thanks to the help of the wonderful @vitaemachina, I’m now at a new location!

Welcome to the Perpetual Caster. The name was chosen because I feel like it’s a name that has not only represented me for years, but something that will be relevant for years to come.

Please bear with me as I work out things like design and whatnot – I’ll get this thing going right. Promise! ๐Ÿ™‚


The Importance of Relationship Context

This is something that I’ve been pondering on lately, partially due to being in a new guild, and listening to interactions between some folks that I haven’t met before.

It’s something that, if recognized by a broader audience, would eliminate a lot of the “but this doesn’t offend me”, or “oh, so I can’t tell a girl she’s pretty”, or any of the Failure-to-Communicate sort of disagreements.

Words can have a majorly different impact depending on the relationship between the two (or more) people having the exchange.

For example: A guy that I have been gaming with for a few years calls me “baby girl”. It’s part of how he talks, and nothing special related to me, necessarily. But it probably took — oh, a year and a half before we had the sort of friendship that allowed for a term of endearment in any sense. Had he, right off the bat when we first ran a raid together, called me ‘baby girl’, I would have considered it creepy and condescending.

The key here being that while yes, this is a general mannerism for him, he doesn’t force it on every single person that he meets. We had developed a friendship before he included me in something that should only have a usage based in familiarity. As such, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. He’s one of the people I’ll call ” Darlin’ ” sometimes. Or jackass, depending. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I tend to equate it to swearing. When you are meeting people that you don’t know, in any setting, really (except, I suppose, watching sports at a pub), you probably have a tendency to watch what you say. You could have the mouth of a sailor around your friends, but you don’t go spouting cuss words immediately upon meeting someone new. Why? Probably because you understand that swearing can be abrasive.

Terms of endearment, or compliments, are much the same way. You don’t walk up to someone and call them Babe or Hunk right off the bat. You don’t use “Hey, you’re damn hot” as your introductory statement. Does that mean that you can never tell a girl that she’s pretty, or a guy that he’s handsome? Of course not. But that’s not how you meet someone.

Relationship context is important. How you know a person directs the way that you can and should interact with them. Think about your own personal relationships. You interact differently with your boss, with strangers, and with your friends. If more people kept that in mind, there would be a lot less confusion. And probably a lot more communication.

Welcome to the Dark Side

Well – twist my rubber arm.

A friend that I used to raid with in WoW convinced me to come back and play TOR with him. He has a laid-back Imperial guild on a different server than I used to play on, one which is much higher population.

And so begins my first venture in to the world of Imperials. Avi has been reincarnated as a Sith Sorcerer, and is going fully towards the dark side.


I’ve gotta say, it’s been an interesting experience so far. I’m rather enjoying the arrogance of the Sith. Everything I do is so far from typical for me, and it’s intriguing!

I’m also taking my time and reading everything. I started yesterday and I’ve slowly made my way to level 12. Considering I swore I wouldn’t level again, I’m surprised at how much fun I’m having. I think I really was too rushed the first time around. This is a much appreciated change of pace.

Bring on the lightning!

A day with Maeve

Sometimes, it’s nice to just take some time out with an alt. For me today, it was about keeping my brain occupied somewhere else, but at the same time not doing something that would be too mentally stressful.

So I spent the day with Maeve, taking things in at a much more leisurely pace than I normally experience.

We started the day doing an End Time run, because let’s face it, she really needs to get rid of her 359. (no dice today either, though). I thought perhaps I’d queue for another dungeon, so I fired up the random queue. Well of Eternity – ah, okay, pretty darn simple. Famous last words. On the first Legion Demon, Maeve did 55% of the damage, AND the tank died. (we were all ready to pull, too, btw) Factoring in the “no more mental stress” mentioned above – I left and decided to find something else to do.

Her tailoring wasn’t maxed yet, so I took a look at that. Realized we would need some more volatile fire to finish it. THEN realized that since she used to be horde, she didn’t have access to the Twilight Highlands portal where we should have headed to fish. Et voila – a new activity was born. It was my first time doing these quests where it wasn’t a necessary part of levelling, just wanting to be 85. We leisurely poked our way through the questline, until we finally opened up the portal. We’ll go back and quest through the zone another time. Finally time to go fish up those volatile fire.

After that, we were off to Deepholm. I love the look of that zone, I really do. The pretty glowing colours just thrill me. Find our way to the troggs to farm the necessary embersilk – we still needed 50 bolts more. We eventually got all of our cloth, and some bonus green drops for us to DE.

Rounded out her afternoon with some new enchants on her gear, and we’d passed some wonderful time doing random things. I think later we might go and join the guild for their weekly LFR, because that still holds some useful gear. ๐Ÿ™‚

The lost art of penmanship

It’s been many, MANY a moon since I’ve done anything in writing, beyond things like a scribbled note on a post-it.
I could probably date back to essay questions in high school being the last time I wrote any significant amount of text by hand – we’re talking over a decade ago. I was never a serious journal keeper, but I know for a fact that by at the LATEST nineteen years of age, any journal I did have was written on the computer.

Today, I sat down to write to my beloved Wolfe. We had our last talk on vent super early this morning (5AM), and then my heart was taken from my chest and left with him for basic training with the army. So after I zombied my way through the work day, unable to even enjoy the sushi my mom brought me, I walked back in the house, took out the pretty stationery, and started writing.

It was at this point that I lamented NOT writing more often. While my printing is still extremely legible, it’s still terrible (to me, anyway, though I know I am my own worst critic). But I used to LOVE cursive. I actually got in *trouble* one time, in first grade, because I handed in my school journal in cursive. (We “weren’t supposed to know how to do that”, because it hadn’t been taught at school yet – boy did my parents ever set the school straight on that account. I had been home taught and it was structurally perfect, if still the clumsy letters of a young child. I would have cursive in my journal if I wanted.)

Sorry, that kind of went off on a tangent. Anyway – I used to love cursive. I hardly ever printed, and despised forms which required block printing. Now? Now, cursive requires actual thought and concentration – and even then I make an inordinate amount of mistakes. I would probably end up throwing away more pages than I wrote, because I would goof up enough words that it would be a jumbled mess of stuff being scratched out.

I honestly think part of it is that I “think faster” now, because even when I print I tend to get ahead of myself by a letter. But it’s easier to catch/correct that sort of thing in print than it is cursive, by far. I mean, if you mess up a “lead in” to a letter, you’ve just hooped that entire word.

I really hope that in the course of daily writing letters to Mah Wolfe, this will start coming back to me. I’m not even that comfortable with printing at this point – it feels awkward. So maybe, just maybe, as the printing starts to get easier (and my brain starts slowing down to match the writing pace), I’ll be able to regain the flow of cursive.

Or hey, maybe I’ll take up calligraphy again. I used to LOVE that when I was younger. I had such pretty calligraphy sets, with a variety of widths and ink colours. I kinda miss it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

What’s your “niche”?

Do you like to tank? Heal? DPS? Are you melee or ranged? Or are comfortable across the board, whatever the group calls for?

Me, I’m a DPS – specifically ranged DPS, and hybrids at that. EQ2, WoW, SWTOR – all the same comfort zone. And in WoW, my *particular* niche is with Elemental Shamans.

I have a couple 85s. On Lightbringer alone, I have a hunter, a druid, and two shammies. I’ve got a BC level mage, and an in progress warlock. I have a shadow priest that “died” around level 38 cause I lost interest. I even optimistically started a Paladin, though she’ll have to be a healer (I’m SO not melee or tank), and I’m not sure I’ll be able to level her to that point.

But it’s the two Elementals that I *love* to pay. That’s where I come home, and it’s why the random toons I have scattered across other friend’s servers are *also* near max and/or max level Ele’s.

I’ve never had the same enjoyment out of any other class. My hunter comes a close second because I really do enjoy the pet system. It adds a separate level to the character, to me, and it’s *fun*. But the play of the class itself? Not so much.

Elemental shaman, however, is pure fun no matter what. I like to kill things. I like my totems (screwy fire totem AI notwithstanding). I like my lightning shield. I like being able to toss a Healing Rain when extra aoe heals will be appreciated. I like spamming Chain Lightning on trash packs. I like it ALL.

It’s just pure-and-simple good times for me. It is my ultimate niche. Do I ever wish I was one of the “high priority” classes? Sure I do. Do I wish that some people didn’t think “Elemental Shamans? Who needs ’em.” Of course. But it has never swayed me from my main.

I came in to WoW ‘late.’ I started playing when ICC was already out – hence Avi being unchanged since her appearance as my first ever WoW toon. My first love, my favourite toon, my always Main. That is Avi.

Maeve was originally Horde, started because an old BF raided mainly on his Horde toon on a different server, and the raid schedule was compatible with my current one so I levelled over there to raid with them. After that didn’t work out, I didn’t feel like I could abandon her, so I added some realID friends from that guild and faction/server transferred her to LB.

(current incarnation – she is set to become a panda when MoP hits!)

And I’ve gotta say, I *love* having two ele shammies on “my” server. Avi is my main progression raider. She’s the one that is there for every guild raid, getting all the improvements first, etc. But Maeve isn’t entirely too far behind because I LIKE to play her. I’ll actually DO LFR runs, because she can use the gear. People want to go back to Firelands for legendary staff stuff? Maeve would enjoy the achievements. She gives me an extra dimension of play that I wasn’t sold on doing with my other 85s, because I simply don’t like playing them as much as I do a shammy.

So where do you slot in with your WoW experience? And what makes your particular preference(s) enjoyable for you?

Totemic Wrath and being needed

You know, it’s an odd thing to provide a “unique” buff in the context of a 25m raid.

We haven’t had a steady warlock in Tranquility in a long time — and I can’t even think of when any (at least semi-reliable) warlock actually played Demo.

Since our other Ele shaman took a step back from WoW shortly after DS launched, I’ve been left as the ONLY person in raid that can provide the 10% buff. It brings me back to the days of Wrath when I was not only raiding with Dark Legacy in the 25m group, but also in the off-day 10m group because I was competent AND an ele shaman with Totem of Wrath.

It just feels odd to have that same expectation in a 25m raid. Out of ALL the raiders in this guild, I am the ONLY person who can give them that boost.

I’m not complaining or anything, don’t get me wrong. I love raiding, I know that I’m not being taken ONLY because of my buff – but rather because I’m actually damn good (or damn decent, at least, since I’m far from being a world-ranking ele shaman) at what I do. But at the same time, it’s a fair bit of responsibility.

I know that despite being more than willing to offer to sit when we have extra raiders on a particular night, if it’s not a straight up farm boss, I’m going to be in for that fight anyway. I know that people are counting on me to not have any sort of scheduling conflict with ANY raid, because that buff is a rather significant thing to lose when you’re looking to make a progression kill. And while I’m ALWAYS there for my guild, I dread the day where a migraine makes me unable to look at my computer screen because I don’t want to let my friends down.

Seems to be a thing you just don’t see very often in the days of similar buffs from different classes – at least not in a 25m group. But I’m honored to be able to be the one to provide it, and the personal dps, regardless. ๐Ÿ™‚